Farmer urges people to talk about depression

Ken Ballantyne points out features at the field day on his King Country farm.

01-06-2010 | Mike Bland

With a top farm, no debt and a loving family, you'd think Ken Ballantyne would have few worries.

Yet at a Ballance Farm Environment Awards field day on the King Country farm he runs with his wife, Sue, Ken told how he had battled depression for almost 20 years, attempting suicide three years ago.After this he was hospitalised and diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

He spoke about this in an effort to make people think about mental health and not be afraid to seek professional help if they needed it.

During treatment for bipolar disorder and depression, a mental health expert told him that 60% of the people he treated were from rural areas.

Ken said his bipolar disorder was partly genetic and partly the result of circumstances, particularly work stress.

"I enjoy hard work, but I suppose I've always felt a lot of pressure to make the farm perfect.I'm really lucky to have a wife like Sue but farming is quite a lonely profession and I guess we farmers don't talk about our problems as much as we should."

Ken said the support of his family and friends helped him to cope with his illness.The treatment for his disorder is ongoing and he stopped drinking alcohol three years ago "because alcohol certainly doesn't help depression".

Ken spent many years coaching and refereeing rugby and is still involved in refereeing.This has helped him develop a thicker skin and, ironically, he sees it as a form of relaxation.

He and Sue now aim to have a month away from the farm every year and the farm is set up so that they can do this.

He said he thought long and hard about whether to raise the topic of his depression at the field day, but he is pleased he did "because it will get people talking about the issue and hopefully this will help someone else".

If I can help just one person, I will have achieved a great deal."

After the field day and following a radio interview, Ken was contacted by a person who was going through "exactly the same living hell that I experienced".

This person, who Ken spoke to in the strictest confidence, exhibited the same symptoms, with similar "overworking and wanting everything on the farm to be perfect".

He hopes he has encouraged this person to seek the right help."They must believe that they will get better, like I did."

Ken said that when in the "deepest hole of depression", you were sure your family and friends would be better off without you.

"In my case it couldn't have come any closer, but now that I am better I realise that I would have ruined their lives also if I had taken my own."

While everyone suffers "ups and downs" from time to time, Ken said the symptoms of severe depression included lack of sleep, weight loss and waking up in a hot sweat.Depression sufferers might find it hard to face people other than their immediate family and they lacked motivation.

"You just want to hide from the world by sleeping and you can't get out of bed to do anything.

"If you know of anyone with these symptoms or someone that has had a complete change of character, talk to them and encourage them to get help."

With the right help, Ken said most depression sufferers did get better and lead normal lives.

"I will be forever grateful to my wife and family especially.It is not easy on the immediate family but I know that my children have learnt from watching their father suffer from depression and it has given them a better understanding of mental illness and made them better people for it.

"I am also forever grateful to the mental health system in New Zealand for getting me better.The doctors, nurses and mental health workers do a wonderful job for very little recognition."

Ken said his depression and bipolar disorder would always be there "like a shadow", but he has learned to control it and live with it.

"Obviously I am not a doctor or a counsellor, but as someone who has experienced, learnt from and recovered from depression, I am only too willing to talk in the strictest confidence to anyone who feels they might be suffering from depression."

Ken said he or Sue could be contacted on (07) 877-7570.

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